Ooh this really resonated with me today ! I’ve just been helping to care for my amazing mother in law who died from cancer last month - I was privileged to be with her those last few weeks of her life and share memories and the daily crossword - while my husband had to remain mostly in Dubai
But ! It really unfolded huge emotion too - my own mother died when I was also 27 and she was 54 ! Not only did this bring up my own Mother loss grief - but made me appreciate how important the end of life saying goodbye is - and how robbed I felt of that !
Time is the most precious thing - that of course we have no control over x
My mother passed only 2 years ago. She was a young mom, and I was already/only 45 when she died.
I'm not sure if I'm comforted or alarmed that you miss her with such intensity 25 years later. I still feel like the hole is freshly torn - but maybe that's just the way it will always feel.
Yes, I feel like we are supposed to measure how sad we "should" be based on weird as measures:
how quick did death come upon them?
how old were they when they died?
what took their life?
how old are you now as you experience it?
do you still have your other parent?
As if they answers to questions like these will inform the level of grief that is weighted appropriately.
Hmmm - I've never quiet had this thought crystalise before now. Thank you for the nudge to reflect.
Oh all of these questions! What does it matter, right? If someone was pivotal to you (and that includes pets) there is no measurement. My first love died last year and the grief I felt for that was enormous - even though it had been years since I saw him. Don’t be alarmed - I swear it gets better and life goes on and you are better too, for having gone through it, which is strange to say too. It’s just that when it hits, it can hit hard, no matter how many years have passed ❤️
It doesn’t get any easier. I still count how many boys and how many girls were born in the hospital at the end of each shift and note who was heaviest, who was lightest, and who was most preterm or longest past their due date for the conversation that hasn’t happened for 10 years… and it still hurts ❤️🩹
Ooh this really resonated with me today ! I’ve just been helping to care for my amazing mother in law who died from cancer last month - I was privileged to be with her those last few weeks of her life and share memories and the daily crossword - while my husband had to remain mostly in Dubai
But ! It really unfolded huge emotion too - my own mother died when I was also 27 and she was 54 ! Not only did this bring up my own Mother loss grief - but made me appreciate how important the end of life saying goodbye is - and how robbed I felt of that !
Time is the most precious thing - that of course we have no control over x
That mother loss grief hits hard, especially with what you’ve been going through. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mother passed only 2 years ago. She was a young mom, and I was already/only 45 when she died.
I'm not sure if I'm comforted or alarmed that you miss her with such intensity 25 years later. I still feel like the hole is freshly torn - but maybe that's just the way it will always feel.
Yes, I feel like we are supposed to measure how sad we "should" be based on weird as measures:
how quick did death come upon them?
how old were they when they died?
what took their life?
how old are you now as you experience it?
do you still have your other parent?
As if they answers to questions like these will inform the level of grief that is weighted appropriately.
Hmmm - I've never quiet had this thought crystalise before now. Thank you for the nudge to reflect.
Oh all of these questions! What does it matter, right? If someone was pivotal to you (and that includes pets) there is no measurement. My first love died last year and the grief I felt for that was enormous - even though it had been years since I saw him. Don’t be alarmed - I swear it gets better and life goes on and you are better too, for having gone through it, which is strange to say too. It’s just that when it hits, it can hit hard, no matter how many years have passed ❤️
It doesn’t get any easier. I still count how many boys and how many girls were born in the hospital at the end of each shift and note who was heaviest, who was lightest, and who was most preterm or longest past their due date for the conversation that hasn’t happened for 10 years… and it still hurts ❤️🩹
Dawn 2023 is the year I want to talk to you about all of this!
You know where to find me ❤️