A big thanks to Midi Health for sponsoring this newsletter and the Hotflash inc Podcast. Midi’s supportive, comprehensive and holistic approach to the menopause transition will provide you with what we all need most: a personalized care plan. Check them out here.
Add Gwyneth Paltrow to the list of people who tried not to take hormone therapy, but now does.
Mixed in with questions about her favorite mascara and perfumes in a this & that newsletter this week, the actress and Goop founder said "I do" when asked if she takes hormone therapy.
(NB: The article calls it “hormone replacement therapy”, which is actually what's given to women who go through early or surgical menopause. In a new effort to be more specific and correct in language, in this case, we are talking about “perimenopause or menopause hormone therapy”).
Paltrow says: "I tried to take other routes, but it wasn’t worth the suffering. And after all the research I have done and the many cutting-edge MDs I have spoken to, I feel good about my protocol."
I hear the same thing from my friends, the ones who may not have been suffering in their 40s, but sure are now as they head to the finish line. Several have used phrases like "I broke down" to describe how and why they finally started hormone therapy, only to experience dramatic improvements. One friend slept through the night for the first time in a year, right after applying the first patch. (Time will tell if it was a fluke, but I sure was happy for her)
Why do we do this to ourselves? It reminds me of the whole "natural childbirth” angst my friends went through when they were having children. It’s so dumb. Where does the external noise come from? And who freaking cares what you do, as long as you do you?
If anything, now is the time when we, by design, start breaking down that allegiance to the external and turn our attention inward, to who we really are and what we really want and need. It’s a process.
Here at Hotflash inc, I'm a huge advocate of doing your own research, assessing your own risk profile and having as many facts available as possible before making any health decision. The facts don’t support the current narrative around hormone therapy, which is that we become hormone deficient and must replace them or risk certain disease. But the body of evidence, experience and expert opinion – the Hotflash inc triad – does support the case for and safety of hormone therapy for relief of symptoms if we so choose and are informed about risks and side effects.
I'm also not a fan of suffering. Haven't we done that enough? Many doctors I've spoken with say hormone therapy can help immensely, giving a baseline of sleep and even mood to make other positive lifestyle changes. It’s not a silver bullet and it’s not the same for everyone. But it’s a tool – and we should use it, if we need or want to.
If you want to hear about my personal regime, which is in what I would call a state of ever-changing flux, check out the bonus solo podcast episode I dropped this week. I’ll do another one, because this is a moving target. I’m getting there though.
Modern medicine has, of course, not enough options but options all the same. We shouldn't have to “suffer” before we let ourselves find a solution that works.
PS: I am super curious about Paltrow's "protocol". (Anyone know? Hit reply and tell me :) Also a huge fan of Dr Taz Bhatia, who adeptly walks the space between Western and eastern medicine, and referenced in GP’s newsletter.
Hotflash inc hot tip: rest
“Overall, we're needing much more rest and retreat and respite throughout menopause. And when we say menopause, by the way, we're talking about a multi-year psycho-spiritual transition, not just the day when you haven't bled for a year. There's a much bigger process around that. So we talking about a few years of innerness and restedness and backing up from all the pushing that we've done for most of our lives and all the ‘out there-ness’ and the driving and the stuff of our menstruating years. So if you are in menopause, the moon is just a lovely little reminder. When it's dark moon: ‘Oh, okay. Rest’.”
Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, co-author of Wild Power, on the Hotflash inc podcast
3 books worth knowing about
Period. Full Stop: The Politics of Menopause (not pictured): Journalist Jennifer Weiss-Wolf (executive director of partnerships and strategy at the historic American feminist publication Ms Magazine) is tackling all of it in her upcoming book. As she told Instagram: “It’s been two long years, but I’ve created exactly what I set out to do.” Date TBC.
Make Menopause Matter: Of all the guides out there, this one might just have the most heart. Diane Danzebrink is a British campaigner who was thrust into surgical menopause unaware and very nearly didn’t make it. She’s worked tirelessly to help other women. And amassed an encyclopedia worth of knowledge along the way. Out now.
How to Menopause: New York-based broadcast journalist-turned menopause influencer Tamsen Fadel has written the book she could have used on this transition, doing what she does best and curating information and tips from 42 experts and hundreds of women, as well as her own training as an integrative health coach. March 2025.
It’s only the second time in Hotflash inc podcast history that I’ve done a two-part episode. Check out Part 2 of my interview with Rebecca Rotstein, founder of Buff Bones, a medically endorsed exercise method for bone and joint health. Part 1 of this conversation talked about the intricacies of bone and joint health; in Part 2 we talk about what to do to get there.
NB: This episode was recorded late last year and delayed due to… life.
Hotflash inc recommends… Sex Soss
I’m having more and more people offer to send me products in this space. I’m pretty choosy about what I accept because I live in the Middle East, and it’s not easy and sometimes illegal to get them here. I’m also very choosy about what I endorse because I’m not going to talk about something unless it’s awesome – and awesome is hard to find. I was in Canada when Tonya Laden, who runs a company called Cowgirl SOSS CBD & Functional Mushrooms out of Denver, Colorado, reached out to ask if I wanted to try her new CBD-infused lubricant and arousal oil Sex Soss. I’d just lost my Dad and was staying at his house in my hometown. It obviously wasn’t a very sexy time but I said yes anyway. AM I EVER GLAD I DID. Tonya explained that Sex Soss is an all-natural solution for dryness and pain. What she didn’t tell me was that it would help me overcome whatever TF it’s called when you experience “muted orgasms”, which is a little-known and depressing part of the whole Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause that I had been experiencing and really gotten in my head about. Slightly tingly, lovely smelling, and with a certain something I needed, Sex Loss has been a game-changer in me getting back the boom.
» Subscribers in the US, use code HOTFLASHINC10 to get a 10 percent discount on all SOSS products. (And don’t forget to tell me what you think).
What I’m loving:
BOOK: Your Radiant Soul by Prune Harris. One of the biggest pieces I’ve unpacked on the journey to being me is understanding and managing my energy. This takes me to special places, in mystical ways, and somehow to this beautiful book.
MOVEMENT: Barry’s LIFT. Everyone is the same age under those red lights. The 45-minute class flies by. All the staff call me by my name and they have excellent amenities. This is my new Sunday treat. Not that I need to, but I’m justifying the cost by remembering how much I used to spend on Saturday night cocktails. Barry’s doesn’t even come close – and I leave stronger every time.
PODCAST: This Past Weekend by Theo Von. This low-key hilarious southern comic takes no sides, just like me, interviewing both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders in the past month. But his solo episodes are my favorite. Just yell “I’m upstairs!” next time you don’t want to be bothered.
AMx
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Ann Marie — Love everything here! While I don't know GP's protocol, I can attest to Dr. Taz' genius as she is my personal physician and has gotten me through menopause the past eight years. And! I love that Tabu is supported on your site; I adore Natalie and was honored to write about her at launch for The Quality Edit.
So what do you suggest for someone who is 8 years in.. is now 2nd year post meno and HAS done hrt (I’ve done it all except testosterone and injections). Hot flashes have evolved into full autonomic temperature dysregulation.. have become hrt intolerant (currently can manage only a single spray of evamist every 36 hours which I have to wipe excess off after a few seconds so too
much doesn’t absorb. Can’t take magnesium or a host of other meds due to opposite reactions. Gained 60 pounds .. have severe severe muscle problems. No sleep etc issues. Beyond frustrated. Any thoughts on metformin for hot flashes (no PCOS). Desperate and tired off all the cottage industry sites that insist shoving loads of hormones in you is the only answer. Has to be a better way.