What Hotflash inc is all about

(ya ya... this is going somewhere good)

But first… Photo by x ) on Unsplash

I’m sequestered producing my first IRL workshop this weekend, so I won’t be able to get you the kind of weekend newsletter I normally would. (I’m also just better after being hella sick right on the heels of my vacation, first with a two-week virus and then a flareup of my thyroid autoimmune stuff, and that coincided with commitments I’d made for Menopause Awareness Month, so my output has been choppy at best).

But I’m back, there are a lot of new people on this newsletter list and I think it’s a good time to get back to basics and tell you what I’m doing here.

My goal here is to inform, inspire and entertain you through the biggest transition of your life. I call this platform “Hotflash inc” because it covers everything that happens at midlife – from all the physical symptoms to emotional and psychological fragility; grief and growth. I believe this is our biggest and best chance to seize hold of the calling of our soul. After years of researching, going through my own private hell and emerging on the other side, I think we ignore it at our peril.

Who am I? I’m a recovering journalist who has worked in North America and the Middle East. I’ve spent 30 years finding things out, pushing for answers, finding the true truth, and then bringing them to people to (hopefully) make their lives better and their minds bigger. In recent years I’ve been one of those messy middle caterpillar-to-butterfly things you see on Instagram. All anger and goo and confusion and worry. I went through menopause in August 2023, and more than a year later, I’m meeting the me I was always meant to be. (And still getting used to her. She’s making some waves, that’s for sure. But we know it’s for the best)

Before all that I had the worst perimenopause ever, and for about half of it, I didn’t know what was happening. It took a missed period around 2017 before I realized I was in perimenopause, after about six years, a dozen doctors visits, two trips to the ER and much despair. (No one mentioned “perimenopause” to the 41-47 year-old at this time, but also, I didn’t want to think about it either. That’s why I believe the first symptom of perimenopause is denial).

Immediately I began looking for information and answers and was dismayed at the fear-mongering, tribalism, shaming and corporate influence that was already at play – and has only compounded. I believed I could do better, bringing my experience as well as my belief that this is the ultimate bio-psycho-social-spiritual transition of our lives, and that is what I’ve been trying to do ever since. Four-plus years, 100+ podcast interviews, a community of 50k+ women across platforms and countless social media interactions later, I’m more convinced than ever.

Here are a few of my core values and beliefs:

1. Menopause is a natural transition we were designed as humans to go through. It is not an accident of nature, a disease or a female hormone deficiency syndrome. It is the other end of puberty.

2. This involves all of a woman. We are not our hormones or our body parts. And we need all of the tools out there, which means you might hear about things you thought were the work of the devil (jade eggs and hormone pellets anyone?) It’s all on the table.

3. There is a dearth of scientific evidence for women’s health in our world, and that becomes even more apparent in midlife. That’s why I also weight my work with expert opinion (based on clinical observation) and human experience. I will never discount the experiences of women to justify my own beliefs.

4. Perimenopause (most of it, although symptoms can and do continue afterward) is hella hard. It’s smashing people in their 30s, 40s and 50s right now for a range of reasons, too many to count or to single any one out. Yes our hormones are leaving the building, but we are equipped to deal with that. Many women have no or almost no symptoms. For everyone else, it’s a mixed bag, with a whole bunch of mitigating factors: stress caused by a range of factors, including aging parents, teens/young kids, career crunches, socioeconomic issues, years of racial weathering, a host of issues in our relationships; a pretty big toxic load that’s impacting our thyroid, our gut, liver, brain; processed foods with suspicious ingredients, an unprecedented information barrage combined with light and EMF pollution; poor air quality, childhood, 70s-parenting trauma, global and economic uncertainty, plus a whole bunch of things we probably haven’t discovered yet. This is all topped off by living in a world that loves to make us feel like there is something inherently wrong with us – and certainly aims to separate us from what we instinctively know – so we buy things; media that pushes corporate agendas and fails to report past their acceptable narratives, and a polarized world made louder by a proliferation of social media. It’s always been hard. All that makes it harder. 

5. Respects curiosity and inquiry. Sidesteps echo chambers, illusory truths, mainstream narratives, cognitive bias, confirmation bias, industry and institutional bias, group think, doublethink or any other perception that confounds the truth. Understands “science” is an ever-unfolding process and it takes a whole spectrum of options and belief systems.

6. Recognizes that we need real innovation to create tools to help us through this, but also that at our most vulnerable, we are targets with a US$40 billion price tag. (According to a Global Market Insights forecast for the growth of the hormone therapy market by 2031). People are pulling data from us at every turn too (apps, surveys, etc) and manipulating it for their own purposes. 

7. Won’t tolerate bullies or takedown artists.

8. Reminds you that no one is your Dr Menopause Guru. You need to become the CEO of your own health (thanks Evernow founder and CEO Alicia Jackson), following a range of experts from various belief systems – coupled with your own inner guidance and research – will help you figure out what to do.

9. Recognizes that menopause hormone therapy is not a magic bullet but a tool to help with physical and emotional symptoms. It may work fantastically well for some people, but for others it may not work very well or may actually cause more problems. There are many women who cannot take it and many more who simply don’t want to. They have their reasons (don’t want a prescription, don’t believe in it, are still being thoughtful about it, etc). All are valid. Also, there are risks and side effects and as so often happens, they are downplayed or altogether ignored.

10. Acknowledges that the scientific evidence that exists, and the recommendations of guiding bodies throughout the world, do not support the use of hormone therapy to prevent dementia, heart disease, cancer, to prevent aging or to live longer.

11. Recognizes that when it comes to the high rates of diseases we face, there are a basket of risk factors and a variety of ways to mitigate them. And while there are plenty of people single-mindedly focusing on preventative estrogen at the moment, for now the jury is out on that, and thankfully naturally declining estrogen levels are just one of many, many factors to take into consideration. 

12. “Libido” is a fraught word. For most of us, sexual pleasure is a core part of our being. It is our birthright. That looks and feels different for everyone, but it is something worth reclaiming. And far too many of us have forgotten; living in our heads, disconnecting from our hearts, segmenting our bodies and cutting ourselves off from our pleasure centers.

13. Many of us have been over-functioning since we can remember. We thought we could have it all and we sacrificed ourselves to get it. We need to deal with that part too.

14. Menopause is nothing short of a human upgrade, a heroine’s journey, a soul evolution and a great unlearning of all that we thought we knew. That part is terribly destabilizing, but also tremendously exciting, right?

15. If you let it happen and do the work, you can emerge lighter, more focused, more passionate, powerful and free than ever before. Just ask any badass, happy healthy woman who’s been through it. And finally, unbelievably, I’m one of them. I speak from experience when I say ‘this is going somewhere good’, and I can add four words from the wisdom I’ve gained: ‘if you let it’.

What did I miss? Hit reply and I’ll share your responses in an upcoming newsletter. 

AMx