Tools of the patriarchy, Me + my HRT and more
Tools of the patriarchy, Me + my HRT and more
Your weekly roundup of hopefully helpful things
You don’t need to make up stuff to give women information about all the ways hormone therapy can help in menopause.
You don’t need to invent pathologies out of a natural process either. Menopause is not the same as a broken arm or thyroid disease. Women aren't born with a defective chip that kicks in at 50, while men get to carry on happily (and by the way, they are suffering too – see below).
Instilling FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt) through repetition is a very effective way to build a social media following, a tool of savvy marketers.
It's even more effective if you've got a Dr in front of your name. But it's no way for humans to make informed decisions about their health.
No one is watching or correcting, and that means it's getting worse. So: let’s resist the urge to give in to the FUD.
I know it’s a lot. But you’ve handled everything up to now, and you'll figure this out too.
And if you get confused (as I do, still, all the time) you can come back here for some respite and a dose of common sense.
I've been questioning narratives for 30 years. This one reeks.
Me & my HRT
Today we hear from Yvonne, 52 from Brooklyn, New York, a long-time Hotflash inc subscriber who I had the pleasure of meeting during the NYC Perry talk in June. Yvonne also has ADHD, which we are finding out can create a real sh**storm when you hit perimenopause, one we know very little about.
Here’s what her HRT experience has been like:
“I was afraid of HRT because I never did well on the pill, I could never tolerate it – any dose made me depressed/bloated. Was also afraid because my mom had breast cancer, albeit at age 55. Age 51 was a blur, I barely got by. Brain fog so intense I could only do the bare minimum. At 50 I had frozen shoulder. My brain had been deteriorating. I was already on Lexapro and Adderall for ADHD – I had been on that combo for at least 20 years. Adderall was not working. I could take 30mg and sit there confused trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. For some reason, I didn't think it was perimenopause related because I didn't gain any weight, or have a hot flash and my periods were still fairly regular. My diet has always been healthy, heavy on vegetables. Always exercised, never smoked, social drinker.
Thankfully I saw the New York Times articles on menopause and heard about the online options like Evernow. I signed up and tried the lowest dose of patch estrogen and progesterone pills half the month. Within two weeks my productivity returned. While I wasn't the baller I was in my 40s, I got my brain back. Dr Jen Gunter says estrogen is not proven for brain fog. She says ADHD medication shows promise. Well, that's probably true if you aren't already taking it for ADHD.
I always used to wonder why women in their late 40s and 50s I knew, gave up on their careers, gave up on men, recoiled from the world. Now I get it. For me HRT was a magic bullet. I feel sad for all the women who want to ride it out naturally even though they are suffering. Our culture has this underlying moral tone about natural: herbs, yoga as ‘good’ and modern medicine as ‘bad’. I only tried HRT because I was at the end of my rope and I came across it in the media, finally!!! I wish that times article came out a year earlier.”
Thank you so much Yvonne. This is such a rich portrayal of a decision and an experience, and I’m so grateful for it. There is no ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in menopause.
Have an HRT story to share? Hit reply or leave a comment and let me know.
Manopause lands in London
In the last 48 hours the menopause conversation has broken wide open in the UK (as best as I can work out, after news breaking of year-long-leave policies that women do not like) and it goes like this:
• 'Manopause' guidelines: Councils, universities, police forces and fire services draw up 'male menopause' policies which let men struggling with falling testosterone work from home, start late or alternate shifts Daily Mail
• The male menopause: genuine condition or moneymaking myth? Guardian
• Erectile problems, belly fat and constant tiredness – welcome to the ‘male menopause’ Telegraph
• Health experts explain 'male menopause' and its red flag symptoms Daily Record
For a calmer discussion on andropause, or male menopause, which I’ve not encased in random quotes because it’s a real thing and men struggle, check out my interview with UK’s Dr Quentin Oury.
Social media post you HAVE to read:
“This change for me is some kind of shift of focus, that capacity I had to just BE somewhere when I was a kid — it feels like that. It has come back. It’s one of the things I didn’t expect from the receding of God’s hormones.”
Cartoonist Lynda Barry, in a panel from her contribution to the 2020 book Menopause: A Comic Treatment
One of the first people I interviewed for Hotflash inc was MK Czerwiec, Comic Nurse and editor of this anthology. You can read that interview here. I also had another contributor, KC Councilor, on the podcast talking about his contribution.
This book won multiple awards at the time and I think might be one of the only menopause books that is evergreen. Every time I see a panel, it seems as fresh as it was in 2020. What a great gift it makes.
Hotflash inc podcast:
I’m so jazzed to have Canadian women’s health ND Lara Briden back for a second time to talk about the four stages of perimenopause, why it seems like it’s chaos but really isn’t, the evolutionary biology view of this transition, and why it’s a transition and not a permanent state of affairs.
Where Hotflash inc is at:
It’s a busy month over here in Abu Dubai, which is what I’m calling where I live now.
• First off, if you couldn’t join us for the magical MenoClarity LIVE summit last week, do yourself a favor and watch the replay. All free; sign up here.
• If you are in Dubai, I’m going to be speaking at a number of events this month. On October 12, I’m on a panel about women’s hormonal health at the Crunchmoms Summit; on October 16 it’s a Menopause at Work panel at University of Birmingham Dubai and then save-the-date October 26, when I am co-hosting a menopause evening with TishTash (one of the first companies in the Middle East to implement at menopause workplace policy).
• If you are in Toronto, where I will be in spirit, check out The Power of Menopause LIVE on October 21 with my friend and Menopause Shift Summit partner Andrea Donsky. Andrea is a menopause educator, researcher and co-founder of Morphus (an awesome line of supplements available in the US: use my code save10hotflash for 10 percent off). In addition to providing answers to your questions about peri/menopause, the ticket price includes entertainment (they have a comedian!), door prizes and a gift bag worth more than $250 filled with food, supplements & beauty products for perimenopausal and menopausal women.
Fact worth noting
Online mentions of ‘menopause beauty products’ increased by 28 percent between 2020 and 2022, according to Brandwatch analyst Annelie Helgelin Cometics Design Europe
Read, watch, click, follow and learn
• I’m still listening to this horribly headlined podcast (it reminds me of a second year poli sci paper, which at 3am I gave the divisive title Interest groups in Canada: Good or Bad?) but ICYMI: CNN’s The Good, the Bad and the Unknown of the Menopausal Brain
• "They're talking to me, an open book, and still cannot bring themselves to talk about having gone through menopause.” Live! With Kelly and Mark co-host Kelly Ripa says can talk to the masses about menopause, but not her own friends. Me too Kelly. Me too. Let’s Talk Off Camera
• Could not agree more with all of this advice from the badass Ash Ambirge. “You will never regret this”: Advice on Living Abroad, From a Woman Who's Spent Her Entire Adult Life in Foreign Countries The Middle Finger Project
“Sleep in, take a walk, go weed your garden”. - Clarissa Kristjansson, The Heart of Menopause
• Clarissa elaborates on the gentle art of Wu Wei, and provides a clue for why all those suggestions to meditate are so annoying to some of us in midlife: As the most stressed generation of midlife women ever, how do we change that? Heart of Menopause
• I can’t with headlines anymore (and all of these sound lovely): Do menopause retreats work? And why are people paying $15,000 for them? CNBC
• 6 steps to take before starting MHT (and a guide to choosing your estrogen) The Vagenda
Editor’s note
Stemming from Dr Gunter’s MHT prep article, I did this Gail assessment of breast cancer risk and was shocked that there were no questions about my weight, alcohol consumption, breast density, diet, exercise or sleep habits. Then I did the BCSC Risk Calculator – via the app – and while it calculated BMI (*pulls out hair*) it asked for nothing else. What is the actual point of a breast cancer risk calculator that ignores so many known risk factors outside of genetics?
I had a conversation on social media recently with someone who said she doesn’t understand why people get hung up on the ‘deficiency’ angle of menopause. My response is: because if you can’t get the basics of what menopause is right, if you are twisting facts knowingly or through ignorance (I’m not sure what’s worse) for theatre and likes, and you are being certain about it, why would I trust you to interpret confusing data, or put much stock in your advice?
AMx
PS this email contains affiliate links to tried-and-tested products from companies run by people I’ve spoken to and feel good about. If you use them to make a purchase, Hotflash inc gets a small commission.
The whole "BMI" thing that still carries so much weight...reiterate: Rips. Out. Hair. !!!