Navigating midlife with purpose and intention

Executive coach (and menopauser) Stef Ziev's choice approach

Are you an overwhelmed high performer? Isn’t every woman?

In a special start-the-new-year right episode of the Hotflash inc podcast, we have executive coach and author Stef Ziev talk about finding our power to choose. To do less, to honor ourselves and live a much, much happier life.

It's the perfect podcast for a brand-new years. Aren't you tired of abandoning yourself choose things that make other people happy? Ziev draws from her extensive career in the entertainment industry and her background in psychology to help individuals regain control over their choices and lives. The conversation covers a range of topics from personal empowerment to navigating the challenges of perimenopause and menopause.

We talk about:

1:57 Abandoning yourself for Tony Robbins
5:36 Confronting fear and vulnerability (and fire)
7:20 Self-reflection and personal growth
9:48 Navigating power dynamics and self-worth
17:14 Who's at the head of your table?
24:05 The ropes course: Standing firm in conviction
29:21 Understanding negative thoughts and terrible stories
33:51 Level one stories and how to transform them
43:06 Challenges of menopause and hormone therapy

By nature, high-performers are deft “do-ers.” They excel in their roles as leaders and managers. They have a keen ability to be agile and pivot with expertise in a moment’s notice. Yet, in this world that moves a million miles a minute, where we have instant access to each other, and back-to-back meetings without bio or meal breaks is a real thing, they can feel like they’re losing control and even worse, burning out. In her book, The Choice Is Yours: A Simple Approach to Live and Lead with More Joy, Ease, and Purpose, Ziev shows us how we can regain control over our lives and our careers, before it’s too late.

Here are 5 things overwhelmed, high-performers can CHOOSE to do to reset and gain control:

1. Get present: If you’re feeling overwhelmed that typically means you’re future, negative fantasizing. That is, you’re thinking about the future and it’s not going well. As a result, you get distracted, you’re stressed, and there’s no way you’re getting your best work done. To interrupt this experience and bring yourself back to the present moment, name what’s here now. Say to yourself, “I’m sitting in this chair. My feet are on the ground. My fingers are on the keypad.” Once you feel more centered, consider one step you can now take toward your task at hand. Let that lead the way.

2. Set intentions: This can be both the literal goal you want to achieve as well as the experience. Ex: “To write the report with ease.” Or “To share the presentation with confidence.” Keep it simple. This is your focal point. You can also implement intention setting for you and your team before each meeting. This serves multiple purposes including: taking a breath in between meetings, creating clarity, and connecting with yourself and others.

3. Create + Communicate Boundaries: What do you need to do your best work? Think about what this means to you and then communicate those parameters to anyone who supports you and any other relevant party. Ask them for their partnership in keeping these boundaries in place. People cannot read your mind, so outline and share your needs to set yourself up for success.

4. Take your space: Getting grounded, having time to think, work, and strategize are foundational to being a high-performer. Bio, mental, and meal breaks are also vital for you to fuel yourself and thrive! Consider breaking up your time in three blocks: 1) Meetings 2) Work 3) Breaks. Claiming your space, holding it sacred, and using it deliberately is important for you, as well as your team, and your organization to flourish.

5. Celebrate your wins!! As often as you can, give yourself the gift of stopping and acknowledging your accomplishments and to praise the achievement of your team, no matter how big or small. This is a great way to expand your joy and energize your people!

My favorite takeaway from this podcast is stopping to ask myself who is sitting at the head of the table. I cannot tell you how much it helped me through the holiday season with family!

AMx