’34 symptoms of menopause’ is dead

A timeline and what happens next

Photo by Angely Acevedo on Unsplash

Flashback to 2017 when, after seven years of hell, I skip a period. The penny drops. And so I Google. What do I get? ’34 symptoms of menopause’.

When I started researching this transition in earnest a few years later, ‘34 symptoms of menopause’ was the first illusory truth about it I came across. In fact, I think it might be how I learned about what illusory truth is: That thing that becomes like the truth because it’s repeated so often.

The ‘34’ never rang true to me and I’ve written about my frustration with it being cited so often, so confidently, several times. Last month I wrote about this again, here:

Menopause 101: Let’s get the facts straight

This time I was lamenting the laziness in an Instagram Reel posted by Oprah Winfrey, in which she referred to the ’34 symptoms or more’ of menopause. And yes, I did say: “Anyone with half a brain knows there aren’t close to 34 symptoms of menopause.”

It is true that if you googled “menopause symptoms” even last month you would largely get back ’34’.…